Like We Never Loved at All
by briewinchester88
Summary: Dean thought his life was good. Well, that all came crumbling down when his boyfriend of two years left him. A year later, Dean ran into him on the street and all the hurt and anger resurfaced. Angst. Destiel. / Song: Like We Never Loved At All by Faith Hill
1. Chapter 1

_You never looked so good_  
_As you did last night_  
_Underneath the city lights_  
_There walking with your friend_  
_Laughing at the moon_  
_I swear you looked right through me_  
_But I'm still living with your goodbye_  
_And you're just going on with your life_

Dean was walking down the street when a familiar face caught his attention. He paused his gait and just stared. He tried to stick to the shadows but he locked eyes with the blue-eyed man across the street.

Dean's heart broke when he noticed the man standing next to Castiel. Dean continued walking and headed to the bar a few blocks over. As he walked, he thought back to that awful night a year ago.

~1 year ago~

_Dean came home from work late and he knew he had to make it up to his boyfriend somehow. He had bought a bouquet of Castiel's favorite flowers. He called out to his boyfriend, but got no reply._

_He searched all over their apartment and found Cas in their bedroom, sitting on the edge of their bed and a suitcase at his feet. Needless to say, Dean was really confused. _

"_Cas? What's going on?"_

_Castiel stood and faced Dean. He took a deep breath and let it out before he continued._

"_Dean, there's no easy way of saying this so here it goes. I'm leaving you. I want you to know that I still love you, but I can't do this anymore. Goodbye Dean."_

_Cas picked up his suitcase and walked out the door, leaving a perplexed Dean behind. The flowers slipped from his hand as he continued to stare at the spot where Cas was just standing._

~End flashback~

_How can you just walk on by_  
_Without one tear in your eye?_  
_Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?_  
_Maybe that's just your way_  
_Of dealing with the pain_  
_Forgetting everything between our rise and falls_  
_Like we never loved at all_

Dean arrived at the bar and paused outside to wipe the tears away from his face. He entered and walked up to the bar and ordered a shot of whiskey.

Dean was on his third shot when he felt a presence next to him. He looked to his right and immediately regretted it. He downed his shot and signaled the bartender for another and completely ignored the person next to him.

_You, I hear you're doing fine_  
_Seems like you're doing well_  
_As far as I can tell_  
_Time is leaving us behind_  
_Another week has passed_  
_And still I haven't laughed yet_  
_So tell me what your secret is?_  
_To letting go, letting go like you did, like you did_

Cas stared down at the bar top, not really knowing what to say. He took a deep breath and turned to face Dean.

"Hello Dean."

Dean slammed his glass down and turned to face Cas. "Hello? That's all you have to say?! Hello?"

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, not meeting Dean's eyes.

Dean was majorly pissed. "How about an explanation for why you walked out on me a year ago? That would be a good start." he signaled for another shot and downed it as soon as it was in front of him.

Cas frowned at how much Dean's drinking but didn't say anything. He sighed. "I met someone else and we just, ya know, clicked. I thought leaving you was the better choice than staying and living a lie. I didn't want to hurt you."

"Well, newsflash, you did. I spent the last year wondering where I went wrong. You cut me deep Cas." he stood and threw down some bills to cover his drinks and left the bar.

_How can you just walk on by_  
_Without one tear in your eye_  
_Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?_  
_Maybe that's just your way_  
_Of dealing with the pain_  
_Forgetting everything between our rise and falls_  
_Like we never loved at all_

Cas sighed and followed Dean out of the bar. He noticed how much Dean was staggering when he left and he didn't want Dean getting hurt.

"Dean wait!" he called out.

Dean groaned and continued walking. "Leave me alone Cas. I have nothing more to say to you."

Cas stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and watched as Dean disappeared around the corner. He watched the corner for a bit longer before following after Dean again.

"Dean!" he yelled.

This time, Dean stopped and turned around. "I'm done listening to your excuses! Apparently, I wasn't enough for you so you can go back to your boy toy and leave me the hell alone! I don't need you!" he was heaving as he finished his tirade and walked away.

Cas was having none of it. He ran up behind Dean and turned him around.

"Listen, I'm sorry that I hurt you but it wasn't my intention to do so." he said.

Dean huffed and pulled out of Cas' grasp. "I told you. I don't want nor need your lame ass excuses or apologies. So just go back from where you came from and forget about me. It worked the first time."

Cas stood there, shocked, as he watched Dean leave again.

_Did you forget the magic?_  
_Did you forget the passion?_  
_Did you ever miss me_  
_Ever long to kiss me?_

_Maybe that's just your way_  
_Of dealing with the pain_  
_Forgetting everything between our rise and falls_  
_Like we never loved at all_

Dean entered his apartment and leaned back against the door. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He pushed off the door and walked into the living room.

He looked around before he picked up the lamp and threw it across the room. He destroyed the entire living room and when he finished, his chest was heaving and he slid down the wall to sit on the floor.

He hid his head in his arms and finally let out everything he'd bottled up the past year. He curled into himself on the floor and ended up falling asleep from the emotional breakdown.

Cas entered his own apartment and saw his boyfriend waiting for him. "How'd it go?"

Cas sighed and curled into his boyfriend's side. "Awful. He hates me and he's still hurt." he relaxed into the comfort of his boyfriend, but he could not get that look of hurt on Dean's face out of his head.


	2. Chapter 2

Here is the long-awaited second chapter. I know it's short, but I've been busy working on other fics. I'm not sure if this will get another chapter, but we'll see.

Enjoy!

* * *

The next morning, Sam entered the apartment after a long night of studying for finals at a friend's place. He dropped his backpack by the door and walked into the living room.

He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the destruction. There was broken glass everywhere, upturned furniture, and a still sleeping Dean amongst the debris. Sam sighed and walked over to his sleeping brother. He noticed the dried tear tracks on Dean's freckled cheeks.

He knelt beside his brother; broken glass embedded in his knees, and gently woke him. "Dean, c'mon man. It's time to get up."

Dean immediately sat up and looked frantically around him. He felt like he'd had a bad dream until last night came rushing back to him. Dean looked at his little brother through water eyes.

"I saw Cas last night. He just brought everything back and practically flaunted his new relationship in my face."

Sam sighed again and helped his brother up off the floor. He pushed Dean toward the bathroom. "Go clean yourself up. I'll take care of this mess."

Sam watched his brother go and went to the kitchen and got the broom. He swept up all the broken pieces and righted all the furniture. He was just finishing up when Dean exited the bathroom, still wearing the clothes from the day before.

He paused to really look at his brother. His eyes were red-rimmed, probably from crying again in the shower, and he looked exhausted. Sam finished cleaning and went to the kitchen to make some coffee.

Dean sat down at the dining table, head propped up on closed fists. He kept thinking about yesterday. He was doing fine until that asshole showed up. Well, okay, he wasn't really fine, but he was managing. Then Cas came along and screwed it all up. He was almost to the point where he could start thinking about getting back in the dating scene. This whole fiasco had set him back at least a couple of months. He sighed. He looked up at his little brother and gave him a weak smile as he took the coffee cup.

Sam watched Dean, drinking his own coffee, as Dean wrapped his hands around the mug. Sam was going to have words with Cas later, but for now, his place was right here, offering comfort to his distraught brother.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam was at a loss. He loved his brother dearly but sometimes, Dean can get on his last nerve. Like now. For the past few hours, Dean had been curled up on the couch, watching bad Lifetime movies. That was the last straw for Sam. He had never known his brother to ever watch a Lifetime movie.

Sam grabbed his jacket and Dean's keys and slipped out of the apartment. He took the Impala and went in search of Cas. He didn't have to search long. He saw Cas exit the corner store. He parked the car and walked across the street. It didn't take long for Sam to catch up to Cas.

"Hey Cas. I think we need to talk." he said as he laid a big hand on Cas' shoulder.

Cas jumped a mile and his heart skipped a beat when the hand landed on his shoulder. He readjusted his grip on his grocery bag as he looked up at Sam.

"Oh, hello Sam. It's been a while. How have you been?" he asked.

Sam stopped walking and turned Cas to face him. "Oh I'm fine. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here about Dean."

Cas bowed his head, feeling contrite and looked up at Sam.

"How is he?" Cas asked quietly.

"He's curled up on the couch, moping, and watching Lifetime movies. Of course, that was after he destroyed the living room and crying his eyes out all night long. So you tell me how he's doing." he said, crossing his arms across his massive chest and glared down at Cas.

Cas slumped his shoulders and almost lost his grip on the paper bag in his arms again. He wiped his hand down his face. He never intended to hurt Dean again and hearing that, well, it broke his heart.

"Sam, I never wanted to hurt Dean. I didn't think-"

"That's right, you didn't think. Do you have any idea how long he pined after you when you left? How long he hoped that you would come back to him?"

"I don't-"

"A year Cas. And a few months ago, he was finally getting back to himself. He was thinking about dating again and then you came along and fucked it all up."

"I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"You know what, Cas; just stay the hell away from Dean alright. He doesn't need you and if you ever come near him again, you'll have me to deal with." Sam stalked away and went back to the Impala, leaving Cas on the sidewalk, shocked and a bit afraid.


End file.
